Sunday, 19 June 2011


Exams start tomorrow and I'm freaking out just a little. I used to get like this back in school but I was a lot better during my degree and have been fine all this year so far; I thought I'd done so many exams that I'd got used to them. But apparently not. It started really badly in bed on Friday night when I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack (I'm guessing here having never had one!) then when I woke up on Saturday (after a very restless sleepless night) I started feeling nauseous and have ever since. Despite this new-found fear, though, I haven't been cramming that much; I seem to have subconsciously come to the conclusion that I'll never be able to remember 2 years of medicine, hence why I'm blogging right now. So I'm freaking out but doing little about it in the way of revision, great one Faye.

I keep saying to myself that I've passed all the modular exams well so I should be fine to pass these too, right? Well all except for the stupid mini-OSCE in December which I unjustly failed (but that's a whole different rant), resulting in a knocking of OSCE confidence...I wouldn't be surprised if I did something stupid like throw up or start crying on Wednesday! I keep oscillating between thinking I'm sufficiently prepared and will be fine....and thinking oh shit I know nothing, my brain is empty, I'm going to fail! I suppose failing wouldn't be the end of the world as I would be able to retake in would just massively mess up my finances for the next year since I need to work the entire summer just to stay afloat.

I guess a major part of the freaking out is fear of the unknown; maybe after this set of exams I'll be fine? I hope so as I can't go through another 3 years of getting like this!

Right, now I feel suitably rested having showered, eaten dinner and blogged, I'll try and shove a bit more (probably useless as it's always the randomest stuff that comes up) info into my poor overworked brain of mush.



  1. Totally there with you. Almost wondering if we go to the same school!

    I know how the pressure feels and I can imagine how frustrating a summer of resits sounds.

    Hopefully you know your stuff and can keep it together for the exams. I always find a well-managed freak before the exams clears the air!

    Good luck :)